I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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