Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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