Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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