I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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