im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
