If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
