im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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