Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
