worst night to have a conscience
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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