we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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