Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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