Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
