You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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