idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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