Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
