then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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