Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Randomize
