Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
