i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
