dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
