saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
How's work?
Spinning.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
