? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
