Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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