don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
