Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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