if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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