i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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