I'm going to jail i love you
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
