I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
