I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Who died my cat blue again?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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