girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
