Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize
