haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
