Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
