well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
