You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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