i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
