I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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