her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
