Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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