just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
