what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Small penises have feelings too.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
