the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
