eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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