Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
