I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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