Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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