I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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