He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
i've created a new STD.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
