The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
