I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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