You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
